…with the woman I love.
It’s our fifth anniversary, and I realize I don’t talk often enough about the amazing woman in my life.
I’m not an easy guy to love or live with. I get cranky, I focus on the wrong things more often than not, I get frustrated, I don’t take the best care of myself, I have a short temper and I too often take for granted the amazing love, patience and care my wife willingly gives constantly without question, guilt, demand or complaint. I’m usually bunkered in my art cave or at playgrounds with our son, so I don’t often get out and mingle publicly as much as I would like. The rare occasions that I do, I catch glimpses of couples who don’t have the same relationship we do. Too often I see these couple angry with each other, frustrated, and basically on the verge of severe problems if not a breakup or divorce.
Our life isn’t perfect, and we have our own issues (mostly mine) but I think we’re in amazing shape and I owe 80% of it to her. Her patience is amazing. Putting up with me alone would drive most women over the edge, let alone the art career with the struggles, ego and angst that it entails. Too many times I catch myself taking for granted how much she gives, and never asks for anything in return. She never makes the insane demands of time to work that I do, or requires that my life be super adapted around her dream. She never does these things because she’s amazing and lately I’ve realized that she’s important enough in my life to change who I am to make our relationship better.
I make art. I paint, I draw, I make comics, I design (less so these days) I illustrate for magazines, I make and sell prints, I have gallery shows and I got to art events. I do these things because they’ve become a part of who I am. All of these things take time and energy, and there’s a limited amount of both, no matter how much I want to believe otherwise. Our life together and marriage is a choice I’ve chosen to make. I like our life. I love our love.
Our life together and our son is more important than making art.
I realized this the other day and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I’ve always known it in the back of my mind of course, but recent events made me take a cold hard look at this fact and decide what’s truly important. I don’t want to be grinding away on this career, this dream and leave my wonderful son and amazing wife behind. I truly realized I could give up what I was doing and still be happy. Of course, I’ll never stop creating, but this thing, this stress, this dream, this grind. It isn’t more important than my happiness with my wife and child.
I’m rambling, so I’ll wrap it up. I love you, Ginger. I love our life together and I don’t ever want to lose you. Happy Anniversary.